Wednesday, April 8, 2026
Not Taking the Position
A reflection on desire, identity, and intrusive thoughts, emphasizing the ability to reject the position thoughts attempt to assign.
“Desire is the desire of the Other.”
Jacques Lacan
The difficulty is not only the thought itself—it is also about the position the thought attempts to establish for me.
When intrusive thoughts appear, they do not only bring content. They also suggest something about identity, meaning, and my place in relation to other people. The struggle is not only cognitive or emotional. It is also relational. The thought offers a position, and I notice the tendency to step into it.
For me, that position often appears as humiliation, inferiority, or exposure. The discomfort is not only in the presence of the thought, but in the sense that it tries to define something essential about me.
Looking back, I notice that much of my anger was a response to that position. I often tried to reject it, argue with it, or defend myself against what it seemed to imply.
What is becoming clearer is that reacting with anger can keep me connected to the same structure. Even in resistance, I remain organized around the thought. My attention and sense of self are still shaped by it, as though it must constantly be fought.
Recovery is beginning to show me a different possibility. A thought can appear without becoming an identity. I can acknowledge what is real without immediately accepting the position the thought suggests.
That distinction feels important. There is a difference between acknowledging an experience and becoming defined by it. The thought may arise, but I do not necessarily have to organize myself around the role it assigns.
What matters more is how I relate to what appears in my mind. If I identify with every thought or respond as though it fully defines me, I remain caught in the same cycle. But if I create some distance and stay grounded in my values, the thought begins to lose some of its influence over how I see myself.
For me, the work is less about eliminating thoughts and more about not allowing them to determine who I am. The thought may come, but I do not have to step into the position it offers.